This is episode 152 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to be less angry.
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Ok, so today’s podcast is all about anger and how if you are an angry person how can you stop being so angry and annoyed all of the time. Perhaps you don’t realise you’re an angry person? How can you tell the difference between feeling upset and being genuinely angry at a situation? Well here is some of the signs to find out if you are an “Angry” person.
Signs Of An Angry Person
- Getting mad at little things – Anger can in some cases have a positive effect, “most of the time our anger tells us we need to take action but when it’s unnecessary to react in an angry way is when it could be classed as anger issues. So for example, somebody who gets very angry at being cut off by another driver or having to wait for an elevator is highly unnecessary.
- Interrupting – Angry people tend to be impatient, often they have trouble waiting for somebody to stop talking or to get the point of their conversation. Even when letting other people speak they might not actually be listening to what that person is saying and just pretend, in some cases, this can be very evident that they’re not listening.
- Complaining – People who spend a lot of time complaining about other people and situations may have an anger problem, you may notice that they will get progressively louder when complaining or visibly more irritated. Some may complain about politics, neighbours, the local PTA but the venom that is evident comes from the same source……Anger.
- Holding A Grudge – When somebody has trouble forgiving/forgetting someone who has wronged them in the past. Angry people sometime can’t seem to let things go and instead continue to re-experience the anger, frustration, pain and resentment each time they recall the wrongdoing that happened. when in fact if they were able to just let it go they would feel no resent, no hatred and their own life would benefit from it.
- Overly sensitive – Generally angry people are very quick to take offence to something said or done. Comments that others may be able to laugh off sometimes can get under the skin of an angry person again being unable to let it go.
- No Empathy – It’s likely that an angry person will struggle with empathy or compassion for others around them although this isn’t always the case and some non-angry people can also struggle with empathy and compassion.
So are you an angry person? Being angry most of the time can become exhausting and can alienate you from social gatherings as people will tend to want to stay away from angry people. But don’t worry if you are angry there are some ways you can begin to be less angry
How Can You Become Less Angry?
Well to start thankfully because you are reading this or listening to the podcast you’re already aware that you may have an issue which is the first step to becoming less angry, the fact you know you have a problem means you’re closer to wanting to make a change. But here are some useful tips that have worked for my clients in the past to allow them to start feeling less angry:
- Think before you speak/react – When in the heat of the moment and in the midst of feeling angry its easy to say something you may regret at a later date. Before reacting or saying something take a few moments to collect your thoughts and calm yourself down from the initial angry response.
- Once calm express yourself – As soon as your thinking clearer and the initial red mist has passed, express your frustration then. Explain to that person what they did and how it made you feel without the need to raise your voice or to hurt somebody.
- Exercise – It’s well documented that physical exercise can help to release stress and high emotions, so if you’re in a situation that you can feel your anger rising go for a brisk walk or a run if possible.
- Take some time out – During the day try taking short breaks during the time you would feel yourself getting more stressed and frustrated. A few moments of quiet may allow you to clear your mind and think about the situation more rationally.
- Look for triggers – Being able to identify what makes you angry can make it easier to either avoid them as much as possible or to find a workaround that suits you and those around you.
- Don’t put the blame on somebody else – Now this can be a tough one for most people, when we feel angry its easy to blame somebody else, saying things such as “you make me angry because” when in fact nobody makes you feel anything. The fact you’re angry at something or somebody is your fault, it’s your fault you respond in an angry manner, not the other person.
- Forgive – Drop the grudge, forgive and forget! When you hold a grudge the only person affected is you! I use the term “nobody ever dies from a snake bite, it’s the venom inside that kills” And wow does it! Your venom inside that you hold onto causes you upset, causes you to feel angry and impacts your life.
- Relax – Practice some relaxation techniques to help in remaining calm in situations, mindfulness, meditation, diaphragmatic breathing. these can all help when needing to relax.